Phantom Thoughts pt. 24

[zellephantom]

Fair warning- I may be a little bit harsh on Raoul in this one. His constant variation between lovesick pining, infantilizing Christine, and blaming Christine for leading him on was getting on my nerves.

{His brother was waiting for him and Raoul fell into his arms, like a child. The count consoled him, without asking for explanations; and Raoul would certainly have long hesitated before telling him the story of the Angel of Music.}

Awww... Brotherly bonding. (Well, with a hint of 'yeah, no way I can tell you the truth- you'll think I'm crazy')

{With a lack-luster eye, he stared down that cold, desolate road and into the pale, dead night. Nothing was colder than his heart, nothing half so dead: he had loved an angel and now he despised a woman!}

Yeah, maaaybe don't deify people and put them up on a pedestal, Raoul- that's practically asking for disappointment.

{Raoul, how that little fairy of the North has trifled with you! Was it really, was it really necessary to have so fresh and young a face, a forehead so shy and always ready to cover itself with the pink blush of modesty in order to pass in the lonely night, in a carriage and pair, accompanied by a mysterious lover? Surely there should be some limit to hypocrisy and lying! ...
She had passed without answering his cry ... And he was thinking of dying; and he was twenty years old! ...}

Ohhh he's sad now (even though she told him not to contact him again, and she's free to see whoever she wishes- it's not like they're engaged!). It's... not so remarkable to be thinking of dying at age twenty- that's called depression, and it means you need some help, Raoul. You kind of need to get over Christine if thinking of her causes you so much pain right now.

{ He had recognized Christine's paper and hand-writing. She said:
DEAR: Go to the masked ball at the Opera on the night after to-morrow. At twelve o'clock, be in the little room behind the chimney-place of the big crush-room. Stand near the door that leads to the Rotunda. Don't mention this appointment to any one on earth. Wear a white domino and be carefully masked. As you love me, do not let yourself be recognized. CHRISTINE.}

Oh no- you're getting his hopes up! (LOL- the crush-room is a very appropriate place for them to meet, though.)

{The envelope was covered with mud and unstamped. It bore the words "To be handed to M. le Vicomte Raoul de Chagny," with the address in pencil. It must have been flung out in the hope that a passer-by would pick up the note and deliver it, which was what happened.}

That is an incredibly insecure and imprecise way to deliver a message. Society would be in disarray if we all just flung our letters out wherever and hoped that someone would deliver it without reading it themselves beforehand.

{Raoul read it over again with fevered eyes. No more was needed to revive his hope.}

oh no he's getting his hopes up

{The somber picture which he had for a moment imagined of a Christine forgetting her duty to herself made way for his original conception of an unfortunate, innocent child, the victim of imprudence and exaggerated sensibility. To what extent, at this time, was she really a victim? Whose prisoner was she? Into what whirlpool had she been dragged? He asked himself these questions with a cruel anguish; but even this pain seemed endurable beside the frenzy into which he was thrown at the thought of a lying and deceitful Christine. What had happened? What influence had she undergone? What monster had carried her off and by what means?}

She's an ADULT WOMAN and hardly helpless, Raoul. (Besides, why would you want to help someone who you not FIVE MINUTES ago thought was a cruel deciever.) Maybe she does not need or want your help, just wants to clear up the misconceptions you have about her (such as that she is in desperate need of your assistance and borderline stalking in order to be safe).

{He knew Christine's story. After her father's death, she acquired a distaste of everything in life, including her art. She went through the CONSERVATOIRE like a poor soulless singing-machine.}

*cough* THAT'S CALLED DEPRESSION, RAOUL *cough*

{And, suddenly, she awoke as though through the intervention of a god. The Angel of Music appeared upon the scene! She sang Margarita in FAUST and triumphed!}

Try Angel of Music- a revolutionary new treatment for depression and general malaise! Success in the music world guaranteed! (Side effects may include accidentally getting into a relationship with your new music teacher and your old boyfriend distrusting and stalking you.)

{Raoul's fingers clutched at his flesh, above his jealous heart. In his inexperience, he now asked himself with terror what game the girl was playing? Up to what point could an opera-singer make a fool of a good-natured young man, quite new to love? O misery! ... Thus did Raoul's thoughts fly from one extreme to the other. He no longer knew whether to pity Christine or to curse her; and he pitied and cursed her turn and turn about. }

You really need to make up your mind- do you genuinely love, care for, and want what's best for Christine, even if her future does not involve you, or do you think she's a deceitful, imprudent, philandering wretch that you shouldn't be associating with?